by Alf Davis, PhD
It’s okay to be disappointed and angry about failing at something.
Suppressing negative feelings – or any feelings at all – leads to bad choices.
It’s a common tactic to rationalize why something failed. So allowing yourself to feel bad can be motivating.
Just don’t dwell on it. And whatever you do, DO NOT make it personal.
Separate the lack of success from your own identity.
Just because you failed at something doesn’t mean YOU are a failure.
Instead, use it to help you work harder to find better solutions to succeed in the future.
Look for explanations rather than excuses. The key is reframing your thoughts.
Remember that your failure isn’t a sign that you can’t do something. It’s a sign that you’re attempting something difficult but worthwhile.
Your journey is too important to let a setback define how you move forward.
Imagine your good friend failed at something. You’d be kind and supportive and reassure them that they got this. Treat yourself as you would your friend.
Nothing worth achieving is ever accomplished from within your comfort zone.
Let go of judgment and approval as well. That’s your bruised ego trying to detonate your progress.
Walt Disney was fired from a Missouri newspaper for “not being creative enough.“
He didn’t let that single failure deter his dream.
Think about WHERE you want to be.
WHO you want to be.
WHY you’re giving up an addiction that doesn’t serve you.
Treat the failure like a scientist. Use it as a lesson, not as an end.
What will you do differently?
Was there a trigger that got past your mental agreement?
Figure it out.
Move on.
You’re strong. And aware. And you own your choices.
Choose differently next time, using this new life lesson.
Stick with your ‘I don’t’.
Go be awesome.
